If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
