my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
