Grow some girl-balls and come out already
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
