had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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