Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
