Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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