She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
