Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
