I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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