this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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