Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
as a side note pls kill me
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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