i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
