Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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