i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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