Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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