i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
