I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
