His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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