Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
