Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
