I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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