awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
