It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
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