Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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