you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
My cat gives me a boner
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Randomize
