Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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