i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I cannot find my penis.
he shaved USA in his pubs
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
