He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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