good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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