Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
