you have to choose: penises or morals?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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