I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
