I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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