we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Randomize
