dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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