on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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