put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
