Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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