just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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