Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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