my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
