What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
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I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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