So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
