I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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