third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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