Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
