How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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