Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
