Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
