K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
