Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
