wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
