I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
