I am puke
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
