That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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