Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
