walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
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You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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