there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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