Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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