well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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