Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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