new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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