ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
