1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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