Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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