mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
